JUDGING JAMES COMEY
In the current battle between James Comey on TV news and Donald Trump on Twitter satirists are mostly favoring Comey.
The Borowitz Report has Amazon shipping ten thousand copies of Comey’s book to the White House, while Trump’s press secretary calls the notion that Trump ordered the book absurd: “The President does not order reading material.”
ExtraNewsFeed (Truth in Satire) offered these Comey quotes:
He asked me if he could withdraw gold directly from Fort Knox
He asked me mob style to kneel down and kiss his presidential ring
He ordered me to arrest Alec Baldwin for impersonating a sitting President.
The Onion excerpts included:
The memos confirm the existence of compromising footage of Trump being sworn in as President of the United States of America.
Trump was so concerned about Michael Flynn’s poor instincts and lack if judgment that he made him national security advisor.
But all this gives the advantage to Comey... Back in 2016 he had been much less of a hero to satirists. Then he had been the butt of cartoon after cartoon upbraiding him for his sudden insertion into the final pre-election days of an announcement damaging, perhaps fatal, to Clinton’s prospects.
Here’s my own take on the issue:
I’ve been watching you, James Comey in your TV interviews
Every evening you’ve been been featured on another breaking news.
You’re articulate and thoughtful but from this I can’t forbear:
That fellow in the White House, you’re the one who put him there.
Your assessments of the President seem accurate and wise
It’s obvious you’re truthful and that he is telling lies.
But if you hadn’t made that statement just before election day
We wouldn’t have a President who’d take you job away.
So I’m very much impressed with how you’re dealing with your pain.
The case you make is solid, on the whole and in the main,
Except for that one incident which doesn’t ring quite true--
So I’m sorry, Mr. Comey, but it all comes down to you.